10 Worst Swimsuit Malfunction Stories (& How to Avoid Them)
By Madison Allen
Who hasn't had a swimsuit malfunction? First you're jumping off the high diveand the next thing you know you're scrambling to find your swimsuit bottoms. Last week we asked our followers to share their most embarrassing swimsuit malfunctions on our Instagram story and you delivered! So, today we’re sharing the top ten most cringe-worthy swimsuit fails and how Kortni Jeane swimmers can save you from some of life's most embarrassing moments.
Let’s dive in:
10. “When I was 12 or 13, my mom drove me 2 hours to my favorite store: Old Navy. (This was a HUGE deal). We were about to embark on our annual family trip to Grand Cayman where I would meet up with my cousins who lived in a different state. Now it was extremely important that I picked out the absolute coolest swimsuit that Old Navy could offer, so I could impress my cousins with my undeniable sense of style. I chose a one-piece wonder that had a beach scene printed on it and I knew it was the one. The bottom half of the suit depicted white sandy beaches while the top half was palm trees and blue skies. No need to try the thing on, I was going to look so hot in this. I wore that swimsuit with pride every single day of that trip waiting for my cousins to tell me that they were obsessed with it and I looked like Jennifer Lopez. On the last day my brother looked at me with the most disgusted face and said, “Why do you keep wearing that ugly see-through suit that shows your butt crack.” Thanks mom. Thanks cousins. Thanks brother, I guess.”
We know it can be tricky when ordering light + white swimwear to know how it will fit and look. We never want you to go through the embarrassment of see-through swimmers! We’re constantly improving our fabric and styles to avoid this problem. We’ve changed the lining in our swimmers from white to nude to help reduce the chances of it being see-through. Most recently, we’ve loved ourRibbed White Fabricthat gives a little more texture to avoid a see-through suit. We also have our Swing top, which creates a looser fit for the top layer of fabric so that you don't have to worry about it clinging to your skin and being see-through. If you love white swimsuits have no fear!
9. “I went on a boating date with this guy and his family (awkward enough!) but I wiped out hard in the water and lost my bottoms. His dad had to help me out of the water. That was our last date...haha."
We promise it’s a lot harder to lose your bottoms in ourHigh-Waisted swimsuits. They hang on through it all, but if you want to be extra safe, ourOne-Pieceswill give you even more assurance.
8. “My best gal friends and I were living in Orlando working at Disney World during the fall a few years ago. We had unlimited access to Disney’s water parks so one day we decided to try one of them out. My friend who was petrified of water slides was finally convinced to go on one with us. All of us went first and waited for her at the bottom. When she came down and was getting out of the water we all noticed her money bags were flapping free but all of us were laughing so hard we were on the ground crying. She kept waving her arms and hands with excitement because she finally conquered her worst fear, and she even gave the attending lifeguard a high five. She then finally realized that her top was completely exposing her of all her goods and wisdom. We were pretty terrible, but we all laugh about it to this day.”
This cute girl had the confidence part right...just not the swimsuit. Waterslides and swimsuits often don't go well together, but we can assure you that our Netted Sweetheart top won't be slipping around, so you can walk right up to that lifeguard with all the confidence in the world.
7. "Picture this - You’re at a 4th of July party with all of your friends and family (oh, and that hot guy that you secretly have a crush on, but haven’t told anyone about yet). It’s a hot, sunny day, everyone has been swimming in the pool and playing yard games for hours. You’ve eaten all the amazing cookout food, got a bit of a tan going on, and you’re pretty sure that cute guy you have the crush on - he likes you back. It’s been the perfect day so far. Then your uncle makes the announcement that it’s time to go play the annual family 4th of July softball game. You make what you think is a funny remark to your crush about how he better be ready to lose and then turn to jump out of the pool. But instead of getting out all cute like you imagined - you get pantsed by the pool and you're left frantically pulling up your swim bottoms and really, really hoping and praying that by some small miracle, no one saw....That was me, before I found Kortni Jeane. I’ll be honest, I was a little hesitant to purchase a swimsuit at first, because it was more than I’d ever spent on a one before, but BOY, WAS IT WORTH IT. Now, 4 years later, I have built up quite the collection of KJ swimmers and I’m happy to announce there have been no more incidents of being pantsed by the pool."
Once again, the benefits ofHigh-Waisted swimsuit bottomscome in clutch! They won't abandon you when you're trying to impress your crush. All of our swimsuit bottoms are High-Waisted,giving you all the security you need.
6. “I jumped off the high board & I was at the bottom of the pool & my suit was floating at the top."
5. “I was once in a dunk tank and when the collapsing seat sent me into the water, my bottoms ripped open!”
We can imagine the panic she went through as she was going underwater in a glass tank knowing her bottoms had just split! Yikes! Wearing cheap swimsuitsnevergoes wellbecause the quality of the fabric won't last through much of anything. Our fabric is designed to be extra durable so you won't be splitting your bottoms on any water-slides or dunk tanks. To be extra safe, try ourHigh-Waisted skirtorWho Wears Short Skirtsfor a double layer of fabric...just in case.
4. “I was nursing. I tried on some suits that were not easy to get on or off, let alone while trying to keep nursing pads in place. After just one swimsuit, and rather abruptly, I began to leak milk. Before I even had on the second suit, my milk was now spraying... everywhere! Milk started to drip down my body onto the swim bottoms. I started to panic and sweat and look around for help.... In the meantime, the sprays were nailing each swimmer that was hanging on the wall. After I lost nearly 6 ounces of milk, I was able to compose myself enough to get dressed (in milk-soaked clothing), and explain to the cashier "Ummm. Ma'am. I'm sorry, but I'm just figuring out nursing and as I was trying on all the suits, I was leaking a lot. So... they all have milk on them. But none of them fit...." She responded with a very confused "Okaaay...." and before she could say anything else, we were out the door. It wasn't only a few days later that I found Kortni Jeane, ordered a few suits to try on in the comfort of my own home, and realized that these suits were made for women. These suits made me feel confident and like I was strong and capable. I could wear these suits and nurse SUCCESSFULLY. Now, they are literally all I own. I went ahead and got rid of everything else that didn't make me feel the same way. And I have been hooked ever since."
We are so glad we offer maternity friendly and nursing friendly tops and bottoms so that you don’t have to explain to the salesperson that their merchandise has been compromised. We've designed several of our tops specifically to be nursing friendly. So, for all the nursing mamas out there try our Ruffled Around top, Scoop Back top, and Tied-up top. For even more options, check out our "Best Swim Tops for Nursing" blog post.
3. “I went to the local reservoir with my friends from college, who were mostly boys, to go try out their new jet ski toy, a flyboard attachment. It pushes you out of the water into the air using the pressure from the jet ski. I strapped my legs to the board and got ready to get up in the air. The second my friend pushed the throttle, I went into the air without my bottoms! They had completely slid down to my ankles because of the water pressure pushing them down. I couldn't control the board, so I was in the air for what felt like years until I fell back into the water pantless! Needless to say I was so embarrassed! Next time, I will be wearing a one-piece, for sure.”
For wild activities like these we definitely suggest a one-piece. Luckily, we’ve got the cutest one-pieces to offer that will save you from having to ever worry about ending up like this poor girl. Check out our One-Pieces here!
2. “My back unsnapped as I reached forward for something in a pool.”
Our swimmers don’t have snaps because you can’t trust snaps. Simple as that. With tops like our Ruffled Around top , Scoop Back top, and Off the Shoulder top you can be stylish without snaps or ties required to keep your swimmer on. All of our tops also have a built in bra with great elasticity and support. These swimmers guarantee you won't have to worry about trying to get out of this awkward situation with grace.
1. Last but not least is @latewithkate’s “walnut story”. This is the only story today that simply can’t remain anonymous because you MUST listen to her tell the story! A lot of you suggested we check out her post when we asked about the worst swimsuit malfunction stories on Instagram so of course, we had to see what the hype was about. Kate did not disappoint! Through her high-pitched Insta filters, she comically tells the world about her most embarrassing moment as aa senior in high school, the basics of which include a day date for a dance, sliding down a water-slide, and well...you can probably guess where this is going. She ends up with only half coverage, awkwardly meeting eyes with her date, the lifeguard, and the rest of the group. No one can tell it as well as her, so check outthis postfor her wild story. A well-fitted Racer Back top or Sweetheart netted top would’ve been a lifesaver in this situation, but overall we’re glad she shared her story with us so we can all have a good laugh.
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories! I’m sure we’re all relieved that most of these situations haven’t happened to us. We’ve learned from these cringe-worthy stories what to prepare for so that thankfully we don’t have to experience all of these embarrassing moments ourselves! Luckily, Kortni Jeane swimmers are designed to avoid the most common swimsuit malfunctions and they can spare you from a world of embarrassment. We’ve got you covered, literally!