Swimming Confessions 🙊

Swimming Confessions 🙊 - Kortni Jeane
swimming confessions
We've been busting up over all of your swimming confessions! We asked for your embarrassing moments, irrational fears, and family vacation horror stories and boy oh boy did we get some good ones! Don't worry. We're keeping them anonymous! 🙈 It's time to TELL ALL! 

The one with the white swim skirt...

This is so embarrassing. I got invited to Seven Peaks water park with my high school crush and one other couple. I was super nervous because it was one of the first times hanging out with this boy, and I was just feeling off that day. We had fun though and we all headed home after. I sat in the front seat with my crush and he dropped me off at home. When I came inside to change, I noticed my white swim skirt was red...from blood 😱! I had started my period and was walking around with a stained skirt. I’m sure everyone in the car saw when I walked up to my door! The next day we had planned to go to Lagoon and my crush told me he had to clean his car and horror struck me at that moment. He probably had to clean his blood-stained seat in his car 😳! It's safe to say that I am now super self-conscious about swimming and periods, and I always keep track now!

The one with the manatees...

I grew up in Florida, with the very rational fear of the things that were in the water. Well, my family decided to go to the river to swim with manatees. It's great fun in the springs with the crystal clear water, watching manatees and their babies, and seeing some amazing (and crazy) looking fish. The trouble was, to get to the springs, you needed to get off of the boat and swim across the river...which was definitely NOT clear. I couldn't see farther than I could reach my arm out. I'm also slightly claustrophobic, so I already have a hard time keeping calm with a snorkel mask on. Well, my parents and I are swimming mid-river, on our way to the springs and I say to them, "I'm going to have a heart attack if something touches me" and literally one second after those words left my lips - BAM!! A MANATEE HEADBUTTED ME IN THE BUTT!!! Needless to say, I made quite the scene screaming. (Manatees are actually quite calm and friendly. They will occasionally come up to humans and interact with them. Apparently I was just in this one's path and she didn't want to go around.)

The one with the fear of sharks...

We had a beach trip planned one summer and it was my “time of the month” and my husband said he wouldn’t swim near me in the ocean for fear the sharks would come. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ We all survived though with no incidents.

swimming confessions

The one with the tie up bottoms...

My parents were the high school cross country coaches while I was in middle school. I went with the team on a lake trip and made the foolish decision to wear swimsuit bottoms that tied on both sides. I was tubing and fell off and saw my swimsuit floating next to me. I was MORTIFIED in front of all the cool high schoolers! Luckily I haven’t had a mishap since being a KJ swimmer girl! 

The one where the husband tries to save the day...

One time we were swimming with friends. I was a new mom and new to the nursing world, i.e. large boobs. I went underwater to do one of those water hair flips. I jumped out feeling so young and free, but instead saw a look of horror on our 30-something guy friend (who was conservatively single- mind you). Suddenly I felt my husband's hand on my boob. “What the?” I looked down to see that one of my large nursing boobs had “fallen out” of my swimsuit and was completely exposed! To this day, we still laugh about this and our single friend still claims “he saw nothing”. Note to self - always wear a full coverage swimsuit when nursing!

The one with the lost luggage...

We flew to Italy the same day that our cruise left port. Our luggage didn’t arrive with us so we got on the cruise with only the clothes on our backs (not the cutest or weather appropriate since they were our traveling outfits). We hand washed our clothes at night, hung to dry, and slept nude 😉 for 3 days until our luggage caught up to us and a cruise worker picked it up from the airport in Greece! Not the funnest not having a swimsuit on a cruise 😂

The one with the fitting room fiasco...

This is not a swimming confession, but rather a swimsuit confession. I tried on a swimsuit once in a department store and the top was WAY too small. It was a strange top that didn’t have any ties or clasps and I could not get it off! I tried for about 20 minutes to get it off. I had finally come to terms with the fact that I was going to die in a fitting room trapped in a bathing suit when I remembered that I ran into a fellow kindergarten parent earlier in the store. She was definitely more of an acquaintance than a friend. In my desperation I sent her a text asking if she could come help me with a fitting room fiasco. She did...and we have not spoken since 😂

swimming confessions

The one with a slippery slope...

It was the summer before my sophomore year of high school. A group of boys asked my friends and I if we wanted to float the canal (I live in a very small town with a cemented canal that runs up through the mountains and it’s the only thing to do in the summer haha). Obviously we said yes. So, we’re floating along on the tubes and we come to this one part where the canal widens, deepens, and the water doesn’t rush as fast, so you can get out of your tube and swim around. Before this pool-ish part of the canal, there’s a little slope. Being the dumb young teens that we were, the boys had the grand idea to run up the slope and slide back down (without the tube) and us girls decided to show off and try it too. The water rushes the fastest at the bend before the slope, clear to the slope. When I ran up the slope, I pushed a little too far against the current and it swept me right off of my feet, but not in a good way. It knocked me down so hard that I SLID against the concrete allllll the way down the slope! I got out of the water and there was BLOOD. Everywhere. I scraped my chest, my chin, my cheeks, my knees, my forearms, my hands, my hips, and the tops of my thighs HARD. Once everybody realized what had happened, they all started freaking out. Here I am, standing at the side of the canal, trying to process what just happened, bleeding everywhere. And when I say bleeding, I was bleeding BAD. My face and my chest in particular were gushing. None of us were 16 yet and none of us could drive. The canal started right behind our neighborhood and ended clear up in a pretty secluded place in the mountains, so we would just walk up to the canal and call for a ride at the end. One of the boys had their phone, but no service since we weren’t at the end yet. We finally got ahold of his sister who came to pick us up and take us to the ER. She had thrown random shirts in her car before coming to grab us so we could go straight there. So then we show up to the ER, soaking wet, half of us not in pants, and I’m gushing blood. I had to get stitches in my chin, my chest cuts had to be glued, and the rest of my cuts and scrapes had to be cleaned and bandaged. Needless to say, that was the last time we floated the canal that summer...😂🤷🏻‍♀️

The one where she nailed it...

This happened to my mom but it is too funny/crazy not to share! My mom was sitting on the edge of a dock and she didn’t know it, but a loose nail was right underneath her. She slipped off of the dock to get into the lake and the nail ripped the bottom seams of her one piece suit. The whole suit rolled all the way up to her neck and we had to throw towels into the water so that she wouldn’t be naked when she got out. 


swimming confessions

The one where she started her period...

The summer before my first year of high school, I officially became a woman (if you know what I mean). The major downside: I was at camp. Church camp. So the loving counselor I had was the most thoughtful lady ever. She was prepared to say the least. So, thankfully she had some feminine products up for grabs. Well, being new to the whole thing, I was terrified of tamps, so I stuck with the pads. Later that day we headed off to go tubing, and for the first time, with boys! They were a little strict at camp, so we could go tubing with the boys but it was always just girls on the tube and boys on the boat or vice versa. I headed on the tube with my two girls and it was all fun and games. We got tossed around a little and even flipped off, but to my horror, when I reached the surface I saw something bright white floating right beside me. I PANICKED. I grabbed it and bundled it up in my fist before any of the boys could see. I told my friend as we were swimming back to the boat. As the boys begin to tube, I was frantically trying to figure out what I was going to do with the thing balled up in my fist. My friend said “just throw it!!” So, I panicked and threw it! All you could see was something white flying in the wind and to this day I am thankful it wasn’t just 2 feet to the left to smack into someone’s face! Moral of the story: don’t go swimming with a pad. Or boys. 😁

The one with the supportive sister...

When my sister and I were younger (about 6 and 9), my pawpaw would take us down to the river to go tubing. The tube was old and small but we loved it and always had so much fun! One day during the summer we really wanted to go tubing, but we didn’t have anyone to spot us (sit on the back of the jet ski and watch). Eventually, my pawpaw got tired of us begging and said yes anyway, which I don’t recommend and here’s why. We got down to the river, got the jet ski in the water and hooked up the tube. Remember the tube was not very big, so my sister had to sit in the bottom on the tube while I rode on top. We got situated, and gave my pawpaw the go ahead. About 5 minutes into the ride, the bottom of the tube fell out and my sister had to hold on for dear life to keep from flying out. We were screaming for my pawpaw to stop but he couldn't hear us over the motor of the jet ski. So, 9-year-old me had to be brave for my sister. I was encouraging her to hold on. Finally her arms gave out and she let go...but she took my bathing suit bottoms with her and dropped them!! Here I am, butt naked on an inner tube, going down the river, screaming for my pawpaw to stop. Finally, he turned around and saw my sister half a mile down the river and me laying on the tube with my bare bottom for all of Texas to see. We laugh about this story now, almost 15 years later. Moral of the story: always wear a one-piece and make sure you have a spotter when you tube!

Well, we hope you enjoyed these confessions as much as we did! And a huge thank you to all those that shared their experiences. Thanks for the laugh and we're glad you survived many of these mishaps. 
Kortni Jeane + Team

1 comment

  • Savannah on

    Once my family and I were swimming in a creek with several other families we did not know. My mom, who is deathly afraid of snakes, cleared the entire swimming area by screaming, “SNAKE, SNAKE! EVERYONE OUT OF THE WATER!” Everyone frantically fled the water. After taking a closer look, it was obvious to everyone there that the ‘snake’ was just a stick.

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