Everyone has their own unique story. It’s what makes you you. Trials and triumphs, unexpected journeys and adventures, they all form who you are today. Sharing our stories is how we come to connect with others and learn from each other. That's why we're starting off November with a new series: Uniquely You 💫
This series will include a variety of women that we as a Kortni Jeane team have had the privilege of getting to know. These women inspire us and we want you to know them too! Their stories, experiences, and smiles deserve to be shared with all of you! Every few weeks we will invite one woman to share her story on our Instagram. We do this in hopes that you will all come together and shower each other with love and support. After all, that's what the Kortni Jeane community is best at!
We hope you enjoy learning from each other's journeys along the way! We believe each of you are enough. Embrace it. Love it. 🌻
Kortni Jeane + Team
Start by reading the first story here:
“We are all told that “we can do hard things” but what we aren’t told is that those hard things might break you. And more than that- it’s ok to let them break you.
I’ve had my fair share of “hard things” in my life and in my journey as a mother. I miscarried my first baby. My second pregnancy resulted in a perfect-but-medically-complex baby that is now developmentally two years old despite being four and relies completely on a feeding tube. And after my third baby, I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer - soft tissue sarcoma - that robbed me of the entire summer and fall of last year as I underwent radiation, multiple surgeries and recovery.
All of those things broke me - they really did. But in all of those situations, even when I felt at my lowest, I held onto hope. Hope, and faith, that things were going to get better and I was going to get through it. Those situations broke me - and they changed me. They made me a better person. A more grateful person. A more patient person. A more compassionate person. I don’t like to say they made me stronger because all of those things showed me, really, just how weak I am.
Knowing that my son may not ever reach the same “life milestones” as my other kids sometimes makes me sad. Being physically weaker after my surgeries and consequent pregnancy sometimes makes me frustrated. Knowing that there’s a high chance of my cancer manifesting again sometimes makes me angry. But in all of those things - there’s a chance for me to live and love more, and fiercer, than I ever did. There’s a chance to hope in the future.
We can do hard things. We can let them break us. And we can get through them - and be more than we were before.”
“This is what breaking a generational curse of drug addiction & poverty looks like. If you told me as a little girl that I would be living the life I am now, I wouldn’t have believed it. I wanted so badly to have normal parents & a stable upbringing but I felt like I couldn’t ever get out of the trauma that haunted me. GUESS WHAT?? I did. I got out & I became the stable woman I needed as a child.
I hope that this reminds anyone who has dealt with physical abuse, addiction, mental health struggles, and poverty that you don’t have to live the life you were born into. You can become the adult you needed growing up.
I remember carrying trash bags out of my birth home into the case worker’s car. I remember leaving my foster home 4 years later and only having a few duffle bags & boxes and the rest of my items in trash bags. Entering my adopted parents home and feeling like trash - a burden. It’s a real feeling that most kids in the foster system have felt. That you’re just an expendable item to others who were supposed to care for me (excluding my foster parents because they really did all they could). To say I remember the feeling is an understatement - I wear that feeling everyday. If you ever wonder why I preach self love and healing your past trauma, it’s because there was a point in my life when I didn’t know what love was, let alone love for myself.
There is such a void in the foster care system for good caring social workers, for foster parents, and for essential items. If you are interested in becoming a foster parent or an adoptive parent, do it! Look into it, there are so many kids that look like me that are yearning for safety, love, and a home.
Thank you for reading this, or if you didn’t maybe sometime I’ll get the chance to tell you and this world how much I needed you to care - how much they need you to care."
“I never really knew loss until my daughter died. I didn’t know what it felt like to have the floor ripped from underneath me. I had never experienced soul shattering pain like I did when the doctor said, “I’m sorry, but we can’t find a heartbeat.” The seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months that followed those words have forever changed me.
In those first few weeks, I remember watching the world continue on around me while mine seemingly stopped spinning. I looked at people smiling, laughing, and living their life carefree... I wondered if they could see how much pain I was in and if I would ever feel like them again. I wondered if I would be able to feel joy without immediate guilt. I wondered if my smile would ever return.
Slowly but surely, I found pieces of her in the world and it started to come back. A wildflower growing near the ocean, a sun flare appearing in photo after photo, strangers from around the world saying her name, I smiled each time and began to feel the guilt slip away. She may not be here with me physically but she has made an impact on this world, she was being remembered, and what could bring more happiness to a mama?
I have learned that joy and grief can coexist. I can enjoy life while I mourn the loss of my child and the life she would have lived. I have found strength through brokenness and I have built myself back from the depths of my sorrow. I am the woman and mother that I am today because of my daughter, Theodora Wilde Yax, Teddy. #teddyswildeflowers”