How to Validate Yourself

Every single person in this beautiful world needs to feel accepted and understood. That’s what we call validation! It feels awesome to be praised, to have feelings affirmed, or to be appreciated. And it’s totally normal to want that validation from parents, spouses, employers, friends… the works! But why wait for the validation of others when you can be an expert in validating yourself and your body?! Why rely on others to make you feel good when you can do it yourself?! Today we’re coming at you with tips + tricks that will help you practice self-validation! 
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Tip #1: Treat yourself like a friend. 
When your close friends are in hard situations or make mistakes, what would you say to them? The dialogue you have with yourself should be very similar! It may seem awkward at first but that’s okay! Always talk to yourself the way you would a close friend or family member. Take care of yourself in the same way you would a loved one. 
Tip #2: Give yourself the love you never got. 
If you seek validation from a parent, sibling, friend, etc. who has never been able to affirm you, think about what your younger self needed to hear from them. Write those thoughts down and say them to yourself. It can be a healing experience to practice this exercise for a variety of feelings. 
With those two tips in mind, dive right into validating yourself with these 5 easy steps: 
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Step One: Notice how you feel and what you need. 
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Step Two: Accept your feelings and needs without judgment.
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Step Three: Avoid over-identifying with your feelings. You want to accept your feelings while remembering that your feelings don’t define you. There’s a difference between “I feel angry” and “I am angry.” 
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Step Four: Say or do validating things for yourself - things that you need to hear or experience. 
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Step Five: Remember, practice is an important piece of self-validation!
Not sure what to say? Check out these validating things you can start saying to yourself today:
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⭐  It’s normal to feel this way. 
⭐ I’m proud of myself. 
⭐ This is hard. What do I need to cope or feel better?
⭐ It’s okay to cry. 
⭐ I did my best. 
⭐ Everyone makes mistakes and that’s okay. 
⭐ My self-worth isn’t based on other people’s opinions. 
⭐ I like this about myself. 
⭐ I’m gorgeous today and every day. 
⭐ I like myself so it’s okay if not everyone likes me.
Self-Validation is an important skill to have but it definitely takes practice. To start, try to say or do at least one self-validating thing per day. Then strive for more when you have that first one down! With practice, validating yourself will become second-nature and you’ll find yourself seeking less validation from others. We can’t wait for you to become an expert at self-validation and to see you shine from the outside in. 
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What other things do you say or do to validate yourself? Let us know below! 
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xoxo
Kortni + Team
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Resources:

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